Ugliest hat ever

I know I don't update often, but yesterday I came across some great eBay items I had to share. These hats are so hideous I can't imagine someone buying them from a yard sale! They're both vintage Christian Dior and the seller had them both listed for just under $100 to start. EACH! Now, I don't care what the name on the label says, I am NOT going to wear a bunch of nasty tacky bird wings on my head! And I'm certainly not going to pay a hundred bucks to do it! Check this ugliness out:

Seriously. I'm wondering if the seller was hoping the ugliness of the mannequin would distract buyers from the ugliness of the hat. The second hat isn't quite as bad in a sort of I-don't-think-I'd-be-sent-straight-to-hell-if-I-showed-up-in-church-wearing-this kind of way (as I would surely be banished to the fires of hell in the bird-wing hat),

Yes, it's not as hideous, but it looks so cheap and swap-meat-esque, I can't believe it bears the Christian Dior label, but that I saw it myself.

So will someone comment on those velvet ribbons tied around the wings? WHAT is up with that?

Large Nude Brest Mug

So here's a listing I came across today. The auction is titled Large Nude Brest Mug. The item description is as follows: HERE IS A LARGE NUDE BREST MUG WITH THE TAN.IT HAS SANIBEL ISLAND WRITTEN ON THE FRONT.IT IS IN GREAT CONDITION AND FREE FROM ANY CHIPS .
Yep, that's it. Class grace & eloquence. Obviously the three go hand in hand.
How I would love to nestle my chin between those babies as I sip my morning coffee. Honey, I smell an xmas gift!

The heat live in make friend!

This was some seller crazy-talk at the bottom of a listing I perused over today. I would really like to know what kind of hallucinogens this guy was on and where I can get some. It's profound stuff this guy is writing. I want all you readers to remember, as you go about your day, that the heat live in make friend. Oh! And the family. Don't forget the family!

"I am a new member on the beltal , the heat live in make friend. If you win my item, I will present your a beautiful gift. Those gifts that have special features can give you of family and friend take to bless a friendly luck. I hope you bid heart letter. The family. Best wishes to you and your family/friend!"

Yes indeed, I send you all bless a friendly luck this holiday season and best wishes to you and your family/friend!

Blood Stain on eBay

Feedback: Jeans arrived with what looks to be BLOOD STAIN in crotch area. DisgustingEbayer

This is just gross. It makes me never want to buy a pair of jeans on eBay. It makes me never want to SELL a pair of jeans on eBay! Yuck. I thought eBay was all about the Great American Dream of collecting other peoples old shit while selling your old shit to other poor unsuspecting suckers! I'm outraged. This attempt to conceal bodily fluid stains would be very disillusioning to me if I didn't already know all about what happens on eBay - Muwahahahahahahahaha.

We Are One Nascar Nation

Member ID: nascar.nation

So normally I try to edit any identifying information just for politeness. But first of all, anyone who surfs around eBay can see a User ID. And second, the User ID is the hilarious eBay stuff in this instance. If this really is a nascar nation, we're all doomed.

Feedback Gets Violent

Feedback: SELLER STOLE $167.50! NOT RECEIVED! NO RESPONSE! ROAD TRIP TO NJ TO FIX A FACE!!

Hey maybe they can save on shipping and pick up the item they never got while they're at it!

UPDATE: More hilarious dolls

So I think the Palin doll was funniest by far, but here are the Cabbage Patch editions of Obama, Biden & McCain. Biden & McCain look almost the same. But really, when you're using the same plastic head & both dolls are wearing a dark suit, I guess there's not a whole lot you can do to change things up! ...I guess their eyes are a little different - Does anyone else think the Biden doll might be stoned? And the McCain doll is quite obviously plotting evil things behind those squinty eyes.

Obama

Biden

McCain