Tuesday, September 7, 2010

eBay Feedback Funniness

I found this and laughed till milk came out my nose. The seller has an interesting way of using his limited character space to best advantage.

Response: DAMN LIAR!! GameWasWorkingWhenSentOut&WasNeverBroken,BlTCHASSNESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously love the final insult and just may start using it on facebook.
Wonder Rachel > Mr. Protection: BITCHASSNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

eBay Members Are a Whole Bucket of Crazy

This is a recent instant message conversation between me and a couple co-workers while we responded to all the usual member email. Does this gullible fool really thing Gucci makes ice cube trays?

Mr. Protection says: Member Message: I'm not sure why I am not able to list ice cube trays by Gucci that are authentic!!!
Wonder-Rachel says: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Bruce LeRoy says: I can't believe that gucci makes ice cube trays
Wonder-Rachel says: I DON'T believe that Gucci makes ice cube trays.
Mr. Protection says: lol, me neither
Mr. Protection says: what's next... blenders?
Bruce LeRoy says: Hey can I sell my Coach ice pick?
Wonder-Rachel says: omg - I'm crying over here
Mr. Protection says: Yes, yes you can!
Mr. Protection says: Right after I sell my Burberry salad bowl!
Wonder-Rachel says: You get all the good ones, I swear. It's like you're a freak magnet.
Mr. Protection says: That explains all the women I've ever dated then, huh?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ugliest hat ever

I know I don't update often, but yesterday I came across some great eBay items I had to share. These hats are so hideous I can't imagine someone buying them from a yard sale! They're both vintage Christian Dior and the seller had them both listed for just under $100 to start. EACH! Now, I don't care what the name on the label says, I am NOT going to wear a bunch of nasty tacky bird wings on my head! And I'm certainly not going to pay a hundred bucks to do it! Check this ugliness out:

Seriously. I'm wondering if the seller was hoping the ugliness of the mannequin would distract buyers from the ugliness of the hat. The second hat isn't quite as bad in a sort of I-don't-think-I'd-be-sent-straight-to-hell-if-I-showed-up-in-church-wearing-this kind of way (as I would surely be banished to the fires of hell in the bird-wing hat),

Yes, it's not as hideous, but it looks so cheap and swap-meat-esque, I can't believe it bears the Christian Dior label, but that I saw it myself.

So will someone comment on those velvet ribbons tied around the wings? WHAT is up with that?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Large Nude Brest Mug

So here's a listing I came across today. The auction is titled Large Nude Brest Mug. The item description is as follows: HERE IS A LARGE NUDE BREST MUG WITH THE TAN.IT HAS SANIBEL ISLAND WRITTEN ON THE FRONT.IT IS IN GREAT CONDITION AND FREE FROM ANY CHIPS .
Yep, that's it. Class grace & eloquence. Obviously the three go hand in hand.
How I would love to nestle my chin between those babies as I sip my morning coffee. Honey, I smell an xmas gift!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The heat live in make friend!

This was some seller crazy-talk at the bottom of a listing I perused over today. I would really like to know what kind of hallucinogens this guy was on and where I can get some. It's profound stuff this guy is writing. I want all you readers to remember, as you go about your day, that the heat live in make friend. Oh! And the family. Don't forget the family!

"I am a new member on the beltal , the heat live in make friend. If you win my item, I will present your a beautiful gift. Those gifts that have special features can give you of family and friend take to bless a friendly luck. I hope you bid heart letter. The family. Best wishes to you and your family/friend!"

Yes indeed, I send you all bless a friendly luck this holiday season and best wishes to you and your family/friend!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Blood Stain on eBay

Feedback: Jeans arrived with what looks to be BLOOD STAIN in crotch area. DisgustingEbayer

This is just gross. It makes me never want to buy a pair of jeans on eBay. It makes me never want to SELL a pair of jeans on eBay! Yuck. I thought eBay was all about the Great American Dream of collecting other peoples old shit while selling your old shit to other poor unsuspecting suckers! I'm outraged. This attempt to conceal bodily fluid stains would be very disillusioning to me if I didn't already know all about what happens on eBay - Muwahahahahahahahaha.

Monday, November 10, 2008

We Are One Nascar Nation

Member ID: nascar.nation

So normally I try to edit any identifying information just for politeness. But first of all, anyone who surfs around eBay can see a User ID. And second, the User ID is the hilarious eBay stuff in this instance. If this really is a nascar nation, we're all doomed.