Ugliest hat ever

I know I don't update often, but yesterday I came across some great eBay items I had to share. These hats are so hideous I can't imagine someone buying them from a yard sale! They're both vintage Christian Dior and the seller had them both listed for just under $100 to start. EACH! Now, I don't care what the name on the label says, I am NOT going to wear a bunch of nasty tacky bird wings on my head! And I'm certainly not going to pay a hundred bucks to do it! Check this ugliness out:

Seriously. I'm wondering if the seller was hoping the ugliness of the mannequin would distract buyers from the ugliness of the hat. The second hat isn't quite as bad in a sort of I-don't-think-I'd-be-sent-straight-to-hell-if-I-showed-up-in-church-wearing-this kind of way (as I would surely be banished to the fires of hell in the bird-wing hat),

Yes, it's not as hideous, but it looks so cheap and swap-meat-esque, I can't believe it bears the Christian Dior label, but that I saw it myself.

So will someone comment on those velvet ribbons tied around the wings? WHAT is up with that?