Hilarious eBay Stuff

eBay Feedback Funniness

2010-09-07T16:44:00.002-06:00

I found this and laughed till milk came out my nose. The seller has an interesting way of using his limited character space to best advantage.

Feedback: SENDS A BROKEN NON WORKING GAME>>>BUYERS BEWARE !!!!!! OF THIS SELLER

Response: DAMN LIAR!! GameWasWorkingWhenSentOut&WasNeverBroken,BlTCHASSNESS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously love the final insult and just may start using it on facebook.

Wonder Rachel > Mr. Protection: BITCHASSNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eBay Members Are a Whole Bucket of Crazy

2009-12-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

This is a recent instant message conversation between me and a couple co-workers while we responded to all the usual member email. Does this gullible fool really thing Gucci makes ice cube trays?

Mr. Protection says: Member Message: I'm not sure why I am not able to list ice cube trays by Gucci that are authentic!!!
Wonder-Rachel says: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Bruce LeRoy says: I can't believe that gucci makes ice cube trays
Wonder-Rachel says: I DON'T believe that Gucci makes ice cube trays.
Mr. Protection says: lol, me neither
Mr. Protection says: what's next... blenders?
Bruce LeRoy says: Hey can I sell my Coach ice pick?
Wonder-Rachel says: omg - I'm crying over here
Mr. Protection says: Yes, yes you can!
Mr. Protection says: Right after I sell my Burberry salad bowl!
Wonder-Rachel says: You get all the good ones, I swear. It's like you're a freak magnet.
Mr. Protection says: That explains all the women I've ever dated then, huh?

Ugliest hat ever

2009-01-22T00:23:00.002-07:00

I know I don't update often, but yesterday I came across some great eBay items I had to share. These hats are so hideous I can't imagine someone buying them from a yard sale! They're both vintage Christian Dior and the seller had them both listed for just under $100 to start. EACH! Now, I don't care what the name on the label says, I am NOT going to wear a bunch of nasty tacky bird wings on my head! And I'm certainly not going to pay a hundred bucks to do it! Check this ugliness out:

Seriously. I'm wondering if the seller was hoping the ugliness of the mannequin would distract buyers from the ugliness of the hat. The second hat isn't quite as bad in a sort of I-don't-think-I'd-be-sent-straight-to-hell-if-I-showed-up-in-church-wearing-this kind of way (as I would surely be banished to the fires of hell in the bird-wing hat),

Yes, it's not as hideous, but it looks so cheap and swap-meat-esque, I can't believe it bears the Christian Dior label, but that I saw it myself.

So will someone comment on those velvet ribbons tied around the wings? WHAT is up with that?

Large Nude Brest Mug

2008-12-18T20:55:00.002-07:00

So here's a listing I came across today. The auction is titled Large Nude Brest Mug. The item description is as follows: HERE IS A LARGE NUDE BREST MUG WITH THE TAN.IT HAS SANIBEL ISLAND WRITTEN ON THE FRONT.IT IS IN GREAT CONDITION AND FREE FROM ANY CHIPS .
Yep, that's it. Class grace & eloquence. Obviously the three go hand in hand.
How I would love to nestle my chin between those babies as I sip my morning coffee. Honey, I smell an xmas gift!

The heat live in make friend!

2008-12-11T19:20:00.002-07:00

This was some seller crazy-talk at the bottom of a listing I perused over today. I would really like to know what kind of hallucinogens this guy was on and where I can get some. It's profound stuff this guy is writing. I want all you readers to remember, as you go about your day, that the heat live in make friend. Oh! And the family. Don't forget the family!

"I am a new member on the beltal , the heat live in make friend. If you win my item, I will present your a beautiful gift. Those gifts that have special features can give you of family and friend take to bless a friendly luck. I hope you bid heart letter. The family. Best wishes to you and your family/friend!"

Yes indeed, I send you all bless a friendly luck this holiday season and best wishes to you and your family/friend!

Blood Stain on eBay

2008-12-06T18:45:00.002-07:00

Feedback: Jeans arrived with what looks to be BLOOD STAIN in crotch area. DisgustingEbayer

This is just gross. It makes me never want to buy a pair of jeans on eBay. It makes me never want to SELL a pair of jeans on eBay! Yuck. I thought eBay was all about the Great American Dream of collecting other peoples old shit while selling your old shit to other poor unsuspecting suckers! I'm outraged. This attempt to conceal bodily fluid stains would be very disillusioning to me if I didn't already know all about what happens on eBay - Muwahahahahahahahaha.

We Are One Nascar Nation

2008-11-10T16:32:00.004-07:00

Member ID: nascar.nation

So normally I try to edit any identifying information just for politeness. But first of all, anyone who surfs around eBay can see a User ID. And second, the User ID is the hilarious eBay stuff in this instance. If this really is a nascar nation, we're all doomed.

Feedback Gets Violent

2008-11-06T15:59:00.001-07:00

Feedback: SELLER STOLE $167.50! NOT RECEIVED! NO RESPONSE! ROAD TRIP TO NJ TO FIX A FACE!!

Hey maybe they can save on shipping and pick up the item they never got while they're at it!

UPDATE: More hilarious dolls

2008-11-02T08:27:00.003-07:00

So I think the Palin doll was funniest by far, but here are the Cabbage Patch editions of Obama, Biden & McCain. Biden & McCain look almost the same. But really, when you're using the same plastic head & both dolls are wearing a dark suit, I guess there's not a whole lot you can do to change things up! ...I guess their eyes are a little different - Does anyone else think the Biden doll might be stoned? And the McCain doll is quite obviously plotting evil things behind those squinty eyes.

Obama

Biden

McCain

Every little girls dream

2008-11-01T16:28:00.003-06:00

I know when I was little and I asked Santa for a Cabbage Patch doll I was NOT thinking gee I hope he sends me the one that's middle-aged with a bad hair-do! Here's to hoping Santa doesn't do his Christmas shopping on eBay!

Bad Seller

2008-10-23T11:30:00.002-06:00

More odd feedback. Crazy eBay members. Sometimes I wonder if they do these kinds of things on purpose...

Feedback: bad seller... came quick

I don't even know what to say. I guess I'd be disappointed too.

Not as Responsed

2008-10-16T17:34:00.003-06:00

Yay! My internet has been down for 2 days (IhateyouComcast!) and finally I am connected again. It feels very odd when I can't get online to interact with all my friends and read eamil & posts. So happy to be back - here is some funny feedback to chuckle at.

Buyer Feedback (2008-05-22): Not as responsed,No reliable,No responsible,and cowed behavior!!!!!!!!!!!
Seller Response (2008-05-22): Wanted refund to be cleaned, said there was fungas and problems. Needs to read!

Hm... I'm wondering if it's against eBay policy to sell fungus. It's obviously not against policy to not know how to spell. I often wonder if these people just don't know what all the red underlining is when they're typing or if they really just don't care that they sound like complete idiots. It seems unlikely they wouldn't notice the spell-checker markings. Unless they have been linving under a rock since the early 90s. In which case why the hell are they selling on eBay?

Rising Red McCain Head

2008-10-16T00:59:00.000-06:00

So I came across a lot of funny stuff tonight, but I'll save most of it for another day. Tonight, in honor of the last presidential debate, I found a super-awesome campaign pin for your viewing pleasure. I think no matter which candidate you support, this will scare you. I'm sure I'll have nightmares of the big red head.

Superman & the Stinky Pinky

2008-10-15T12:08:00.000-06:00

I found this on eBay last week but wasn't posting pictures yet. It's custom obviously - not an authorized statue. Warner Brothers isn't crazy about custom figurines so this one is no longer available unfortunately.

This shirt doesn't FIT!

2008-10-15T11:00:00.001-06:00

Shirt NOT Medium – wrong sized – I’m not a FATASS!
This is clearly a case of discrimination - eBay sellers must have access to unlimited personal buyer info. The seller had a picture of the buyer and said to himself "This guy can't wear a medium! I'll send an XL instead."

Nice shirt, but didn’t know it had a bra inside. :(
I'm wondering if this is your standard built-in bra... or if the seller included a little adults-only prize inside!

Amazing Creatures & Stumblebums

2008-10-15T10:59:00.000-06:00

You might ask yourself, who uses the word stumblebum anyway? eBay buyers of course. And this pair of Shure headphones brought a river to life. Leave it to wacky eBay members...

"Uncomprimising,inflexible,ingrate.Stumblebum commo.Worst Seller in my experience"
Worst speller in my experience?

"I hear the natural sounding river. It sounds like an amazing creature."
For a pair of headphones... oookaaay...

I don't smoke

2008-10-15T10:58:00.001-06:00

So I found this feedback all for the same member:

"hand bag smells of smoke really bad will never use because of smell"

"purse smelled heavy of smoke"

"Shoes were beautiful, but have overwhelming odor of cigarette smoke"
"Response (2008-04-04): I DON'T SMOKE!"

Hmm... yeah sounds like they don't smoke. I'm convinced.